TYING THE (MYSTERIOUS) KNOT

For some reason a young yet sensible matured person, these days, seems to be a rare commodity. Among all the steady as well as cracked pots I have in my family, one person I adore, admire and respect a lot is one of my cousin brothers. Younger to me by an year, this boy showed immense maturity and courage at an age where many do not even know the difference between an infatuation and genuine love. I indeed am talking about him handling his love life. He fell in love with a girl from a different caste and religion. Fortunately, being blessed with very practical and broad-minded parents (who consider their childrens' joy to be of much more importance than the rigid and superfluous norms), he had no issues to sort or solve at his end; but the herculean task that awaited him was convincing the girl’s parents. He handled it beautifully and succeeded in it a few years ago (at an age of 21!) and now, I eagerly wait to be a part of the joyous moment of the two getting together to start a life of their own – in a year from now. I rushed to my mother to share this wonderful bit of news. As overwhelmed with joy as she could be, it was equally difficult for her to hide the sorrow. In turn, the news she had in hand to give me was about a very close family friend’s son going through a traumatic phase in life – he was getting divorced! He was going to break an eighteen months old marriage! “Eighteen months”….this kept ringing in my head constantly. What do I do? Rejoice for my cousin brother or moan for this boy who I have always looked upon as an elder brother?

Things aren’t easy when it comes to one getting married or getting one married off. Marriage – Phew! The most important stage in one’s life – where one wrong step taken or decision made, everything goes for a toss! Scary a thought, right? The efforts put in to find Mr. or Miss. right is commendable! It is true when they say that birds of the same feather (are believed to) flock together. It is considered easy and simple to bring people belonging to similar backgrounds closer, provided it is with the consent of the bakra…er…I mean the one who’s to get married (wink wink) – in other words, an arranged marriage. Be it love or arranged marriage, there still are many questions that remain unanswered!

Arranged marriage -if things are so beautifully arranged and when everything is supposedly right, why do they fall apart in many-a-cases? What goes wrong in a ‘rightly’ arranged marriage? When all the man-made elements (as I call them) such as status, caste, religion, creed, beliefs, horoscopes, everything matched, what didn’t?

Love marriage – When love marriages fall apart, where is the so called ‘love’? Everything is a gamble!

I observe around and realize that the concept of patience is diminishing for unknown reasons. The idea of “understanding one another” has becoming restricted. Love, sadly, is becoming conditional! The “self” is been given priority than the “us”.  I despise all those who talk about controlling their wedded lives, their better halves, their extended families and so on!! My question “why??!!!” again remains being one among the many unanswered ones! The dumb answer I get, if at all I put this across is - why should “I” let go? We have to let go off arrogance, ego, selfishness, illogical assumptions and similar negative traits; if not, DO NOT hope for the relationship to last long! It’s so lovely to see our parents live through their lives so beautifully (TOUCH WOOD), literally being there with and for each other through thick and thin…religiously keeping up to the vows taken by them together!! I admire such couples and my respect for them is sky high! I pray for such relations to last till eternity and to be blessed with one like that!

Compatibility, being genuinely happy and finding solace in each other even when you are in the worst of situations, unconditional love, loyalty with the strongest of foundations built on trust, the ability to read your loved one’s silence, the strength to be with them through thick and thin, having an open mind to accept and love their family as your own and above all having the CLARITY needed to understand situations and take decisions can make a good marriage! When you know someone can love you unconditionally, expecting nothing in return - just surrender! Because everything else will fall in place - my belief! Many would definitely differ in opinion. I respect your thoughts, beliefs, and ideas and let us just let each other be J…What say you? However, the worst of things one can do is give false hopes through words, and deeds and betray later for reasons that sound ridiculous and completely self-centered! And when guilt kills, you can find people justify even their stupidest of acts – just hear them out silently and leave with a smile! All that I hope and pray for is may all realizations and enlightenment for those whose brains hibernate happen before it is too late, lest you curse your fate and decisions! Certain damages are IRREVERSIBLE!

Recently, a very close friend of mine mentioned about attending weddings and a funeral in the same week. A similar situation as when you get to hear about marriages being fixed and broken. The mystery hidden in every tomorrow, or for that matter, the very next minute is looked at optimistically when it blesses you with the good. Otherwise everything remains unpredictable and the moment, a myth! And as far as weddings are concerned, the sacred 'knot' always remains mysterious!

                        

SIX FEET UNDER

I entered the place and had a hertz welcoming me…! Is the funeral to happen later sometime today, I thought? No, it’d just begun as I stepped into the church.

It was yet another Sunday and as per my usual routine I reached the church (that I generally go to) at around 10:30 in the morning. I was taken aback to realize what was going on inside…went in, paid my respect, prayed for the family and for the soul to rest in peace, sat there for a while through the prayer session and moved out, with all kind of thoughts and questions in my head – those that have never been answered till date, and probably will never be!

The most unpredictable of things that can ever happen is ‘death’! None knows when we’ll be dear to God (an acceptable and subtle way of putting it)! Waking up to death news leaves you mentally paralyzed for the rest of the day, or perhaps for the many days that’d follow. The void of losing your near and dear ones remains and all that you’re left with is memories!

When tomorrow is a myth and life is so fickle, I keep wondering - why are people so rigid and why do many of their actions make little or no sense??!! Fights for/over money/property, honour killing, issues over love and arranged marriages, ego clashes, impatience over petty things, divorces, infidelity, harassments in many forms, discrimination on the basis of caste, religion, creed, etc.and I can just go on…! Weren’t things way too easier years ago? Are all the good virtues disappearing? Why are people getting more materialistic these days? Is money more important than family? Is one’s religion, caste, looks, status more important than the joy one gets from togetherness? And these are not just rhetorical questions, mind you!

Siblings, who have grown together, hate each other, because for some senseless reason one feels he deserves more than the other! How more fragile can relationships get? He/she does not mind having an illicit relationship with another post marriage; what about the spouse waiting at home? Oh… that ‘better’ half perhaps is in search of another half than the existing one (huh)! Well, are they born with a conscience that decay and die completely by the time they grow? Or was the marriage itself a disaster from the word ‘go’? Is infidelity the right answer to it? I do not think so! Why not put in genuine efforts to make the marriage work? I stood dumbstruck when a guy colleague of mine comes to a party with a lady and a kid - ahem hold on please – this lady is another colleague and the kid, her niece! They’d seem like a family to any stranger, and to us…well, we know what happens behind the scenes! BTW my colleague’s wife and daughter make a wonderful wallpaper on his laptop [ :­-@ wow!...What love!].

What pleasure does one derive from harassing people? Yeah…one good thing that’s happened is, it’s easier to explain who a sadist is – just point out to your boss (exceptions to be excluded from the category with utmost consideration and respect please) - one of the easier examples that could be stated.

A few years back, when I had just stepped into college and on one of those weekends when I was chatting with my father, he told me something that made no sense to me then. He said, “…whatever said and done my dear, it is the person that matters and NOTHING else! And you are remembered for what you are. Strive to be a better human being. Be true in whatever you say and do.”  Trust me, now, I swear by every word that he’d told me! I had this inscribed in my mind and eventually as days and years passed, every word that he’d uttered then made sense to me! Because at the end of the day, when you are six feet under, NOTHING else really matters…!

FOR SURVIVAL

People rushed in, caring least about others. The priority was to board the locomotive; lest they are left behind, away for a while from their accompanied, if any. I was one among the many too! Successful in the mission, I squeezed in the little space near the door, leaning on the wall of the partition. After the allotted seconds, the train began gliding on its tracks.

Lost in my own world of thoughts, I was pulled back to reality by a minor verbal combat between two of the many so called ladies, but witches who were wasting precious words over petty things! The rushing mode of transport slowed down and halted at the next junction for exchange of living beings. It was Vile-parle (a place in Bombay). Something that was happening on the platform on the left caught my attention this time. A sight of not more than a few seconds, still fresh in my hippocampus, so much so that I decide to pen it, and here I do!

He hugged his…sister (I assume)- a girl who looked older to him- and let a man carry him across the tracks to place him on the foot board of my compartment, my train. He waved back to both and departed, when the train began proceeding to the next destination. A pause of a few seconds and a quick wipe of tears were the only actions that preceded this little one’s song. “ Meri jaan meri dilbar, mujhse eitbaar karde….” , he din’t sing, instead yelled these famous lines of the so tagged ‘hit movie’ – Dhadkan. Taken aback by this sudden spurt, all were amused and admired him with genuine love and pity. But not a single soul helped him with a rupee or two. He kept perambulating in the second-class compartment, which got a little empty at Andheri (a place in Bombay).

I was on my way back home from my visit to the Mahim (yet another place in Bombay) church. Being a school student (I was in my ninth grade) then, we were seldom or never given money to carry along and moreover, we never felt the need for any. All that I had was my card ticket and the rest were safe with my father, a commuter of the very same train, in a different compartment though. Helplessness crept in me, for not even a penny could I contribute to bring a bit of joy on that boy’s face, if at all it would. He kept moving about from the first section to the others, gave a meek smile when people mollycoddled him, looked at them with all hopes of getting at least half a rupee, which never happened till I alighted.This boy’s thoughts kept bothering me even after I reached home; wished I had a rupee at least- the first time that I ever regretted denying carrying money despite being asked to!

Very eager to see the boy again with the sole goal of paying him to compensate for my yesterday’s state, I deliberately chose to travel the same route the next day at the same time, with a little cash in hand. I was not destined to see him. I looked around at every station until mine, just to alight with nothing but disappointment to accompany me. How I wished I had at least a rupee with me yesterday, was the thought that kept pinching me hard. I turned around, browsed the station from where I stood. People rushed into the compartments, gushed out of it, wasted precious words over petty things,  the train began gliding….but the little one was to be seen nowhere! I sighed again – how I wished I had at least a penny with me yesterday…!

                                                                                                                                          

DEFEATED!

“I’m done, I set u free…you may leave!”

I’m thrown into a no man’s land,

With nothing but misery to accompany me!

I look around and get engulfed by the dark, violent sea

I drown, I scream, I plead for mercy

You’re destined to suffer, you’re meant for pain

I continue wailing, I continue weeping, but all in vain.

  A bit of peace for survival

A day devoid of tears

A night of peaceful sleep, are all I ask for!

Ain’t  I worthy of these at least?

Your life is meant for sacrifice, your life is meant for service

Pleasure for you is a dream, and merriment a myth!

Ain’t I a human, shouldn’t I have desires?

Dream about sacrifice, dream about service

Dream about serving mankind

I feel lonely, I feel miserable,

I long to love and to be loved unconditionally

I long for a companion, another soul I can call mine!

I long for a life, I long for happiness.

Selflessness should be your hymn

And a life with no expectation, your motto

I’m hurt, I’m in pain, I’m living a dead life!

I continue wailing, I continue weeping.

A bit of peace for survival

A day devoid of tears

A night of peaceful sleep, are all I ask for!

Ain’t  I worthy for these at least?

Do not expect, only give

Do not long, always let go

Do not yearn, for it will never come to you!

Do not wish, do not dream, 

Never build castles, for they will tumble down

They will crash, they will shatter!

It hurts me, I’m in pain,

With nothing to look forward to, with nothing to expect

A life of darkness, a life in vain

I long for a lot, none that I know I would get

None that I believe is meant for me

None that I know is real

None that I know will truly last

I live a life that’s in the dark

I live a life running on faith

I live a life waiting for the end!

For,

A bit of peace for survival

A day devoid of tears

A night of peaceful sleep, were all that I asked for!

THE NAME & A START

Many of us write for very many reasons – to share what we see or experience, to report, to vent emotions, for pleasure and so on. I have wanted to start a blog for a while, and I’m happy I finally have! Not a ‘brilliant’ writer for sure, but I hope to make sense in whatever I inscribe here. I would love to know what every reader of this blog feels; if you wish to convey or communicate, please feel free to comment. I welcome criticisms and much as I enjoy appreciations, for without the former, I can’t learn or grow!

Muse is a source of inspiration, a guiding spirit that helps you think or meditate in silence, as on some subject. MY MUSEZ FAVOURITE GAME is to inspire me to pen down whatever touches my heart – be it from my own life, others’ or what I see around!

Welcome, to be a part of this game …  :)